Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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