So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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