Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
