Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
