dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Randomize
