I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
