My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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