btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
