His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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