Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
