I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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