winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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