The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
