we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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