After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
