You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
