If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
