Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
