Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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