Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
one might say we're banned from that church
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
