North Korea, Best Korea!
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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