i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
