He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
