and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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