I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Never let your siblings swipe right.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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