how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
