We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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