Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
