Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
