Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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