This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
