I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize