just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
