Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
