apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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