Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
