Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
