Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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