I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
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