I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
