Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
