is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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