his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
