Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
