i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
