just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
