Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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