CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
