I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
