I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
