ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize