we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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