i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
