she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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