He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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