So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
