there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
