before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
