Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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