Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
