i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
