I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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