My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
